With the new year comes resolutions, and one of the most common one I hear is: ‘I want to cut off toxic people in my life.’ To an extent, I support this, but folks who make this resolution often make it seem like the only barrier between them and the toxic individual or environment is their readiness to cease the situation.

What happens them if the toxic person or environment is the only one you have ever known? What happens if the toxic person/environment is one where you depend on financially or emotionally? How do you cut that situation off?

I have found people and situations in my life that only allowed for me to survive but never to thrive. Situations that were disguised as being for my happiness without ever listening to what actually makes me happy. Situations where folks wanted the best for me, but that best ended up choking me. But I can’t cut them off. Can I take away my head so that my heart can survive? Is that even possible? What do I do then? What do I do when I know how to thrive but it would mean I couldn’t survive? What do I do then?

I don’t know what the answer is, and neither may you. I know that I can’t cut out the toxicity in my life at the moment, but maybe for right now, I can work around it. What I do know is that for right now, I may have to put thriving on the back burner while I survive.